...Or want to make one despite the fact that they've been closed for months now. This is important, so please read through this and please respond I'm going to need your opinion and response to this, even if you don't care about making requests.
I'm at the end of my rope. I'm way too stressed out when it comes to these pictures and it's not for a good reason. This can't go on for another year so I really need to change something about how I do this.
You guys are all great and I love each and every one of you but things have got to change for how I manage this page. I've made mention of this plenty of times before but I have to do it again. I've taken on too many requests. It's obvious that me saying so hasn't convinced anyone of how long it takes to finish a single picture or how hard I worry over whether or not it'll be to the person's liking. I know you guys are nice and grateful so there's probably little to worry about here but I'm the kind of person who didn't grow up with many friends so I tend to be cautious when it comes to how I get viewed by others.
Let me assure though, it's taking too goddamn long. The list is so long that there are requests from Late 2012 that I haven't gotten to yet, which really shouldn't matter at all since I'm supposed to be allowed to draw whatever I want, whenever I want.
I initially started this because I wanted to draw pictures I'd like to see. I figured it'd be fun. At the start I didn't have many thoughts brewing in my head about what or where I wanted to take this, but it's been over a year now and I finally do. However, I still took on requests simply because I thought it'd make people happy and that they'd appreciate my stuff more if I did pictures for free.
Despite that though, these pictures, as time has gone on, have started to feel more like work obligations rather then favors I'm doing for people. Whenever I get contacted by people sometimes it's to let me know that it's been a long time or even worse they'll ask me if I forgot. That last one is especially grating because it'd be impossible to remember any of them. They're all written down on my computer, so if you've made one it's there. I'm sure they only ask this because they assume I'm not working on anything else or that the list can't be that long but I assure you that it is.
Not everyone does it. In fact, I think the majority of you have been rather patient and accepting of how long this is taking and even more probably don't even realize there's a problem and just enjoy the pictures. I'm not accepting of how long it's taking though. Everything I want to do now is on hold because of them and I just can't let that be the case anymore. I can't do it. It stresses me out thinking that it's going to be another year or two before I'm finally done and I can move on to new stuff that I've been thinking of doing. It also scares me that people may lose interest if I just start to do my own thing. It shouldn't be stressful. They are just funny pictures I'm drawing for free. I feel obligated to finish them all when I shouldn't have to! What's wrong with me?
I took on request after request after request like an idiot because I thought it wouldn't matter how long it took so long as they were going to come out eventually. That can't be the case anymore, especially now that my new style takes longer to do. At this point, it'd just be me dicking around the people who've waited for so long. When I go down my list and see the individual posts I have saved on my computer, I already feel it's too long. However, there are some singular posts that actually have THREE different picture requests in them.
This isn't healthy. I thought I was overreacting when I told myself that this was bad for me but it's becoming apparent to me now and I can't ignore it any longer. These pictures are favors I'm doing for people and they're all free. There's been no money involved and it's not fair to myself to feel obligated to complete them all against my will. Having people actually hound me over a picture I told them I'd draw for them for free upsets me. When I finally let out my feelings on the matter to another person they only contacted me to make sure I remembered what requests they had made. It was horrible, terrible, awful, stupid, rookie mistake I made and I'm paying for it.
This isn't fun anymore. At least, not the way I'm doing this now. I still loving drawing the pictures and I love the pictures I've made. However, it's not longer a fun process that I'm comfortable with anymore. I've got a solution to it though and I really, really need everyone's input on this, especially those who asked me for stuff.
The thing that's kept me from calling it quits on the remaining requests is that it obviously wouldn't be fair to those who've already asked for one. That's why, I went ahead and drew the outline for the people who only asked me for one picture. However, loads of problems arise when it comes to those who've asked me for multiple ones. At that point it just becomes a workload to appease a single person. My time is limited as I'm in college now and I can't have something that shouldn't be a problem, be such a huge problem. That's why I'm wondering if it'd be best to try these options.
1. I start the stuff I want to do that aren't requests but space it out so that I can get to a request along the way. That way, they'd just turn into picture ideas I did on the side given to me by you guys rather then obligated things I needed to complete.
2. I include the ideas the requests I haven't outlined yet in the comic idea I want to get started on.
3. I just do whatever I want. Be it my stuff or the requests at my own pace and risk losing some backers if they feel I'm somehow not being fair to them.
That's the main issue in all this. I want to be fair. I thought just going ahead and doing them all before I got to my stuff would be fair to everyone but now I'm realizing that it's not fair to me. So I've just got to do something different.